


Cherry Blossom Monologues

by CherryBlossomMonologues



Series: Monologues Beneath the Cherry Tree [3]
Category: CLAMP - Works, Tokyo Babylon, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 13:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7936627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryBlossomMonologues/pseuds/CherryBlossomMonologues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>This is, and always has been, for you, Subaru, dearest brother.  Your monologue must continue even though you might wish to end it now.  Its skillful turn of phrase has only just begun, and there is so much more left for you to share.  Is it delusion for me to hope that you will not have to stand solo on that frightening stage?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No matter.  I follow my heart and my wish.  Shall it be another duet, Sei-chan?</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cherry Blossom Monologues

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [Squaring the Circle](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7668421) and [The Circle Squared](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7936558).
> 
> Written circa 2000/01 for T-chan.

The hazy pink of the cherry blossoms of a single tree swirl ominously at my feet, obscuring the moist earth before me.  Disturbingly apt, as I no longer see any future for myself.  I stand before the heart and soul of the _Sakurazukamori_ , knowing at last that he will come before me.

So, this is my last chance for final misgivings. 

Am I making the right decision? 

Very soon, I’ll be committed irrevocably to a path that I cannot guess, from which I cannot return.  Though I am resolute, I feel my stomach lurch at the thought of what is to come, of what I must do on behalf of love and loyalty and blood.  Still, I can turn that fear into strength, power enough to take a stand on this majestic, terrible stage.  I’ve always been one for spectacle and performance.  That glamour won’t fail me, now.

I watch a single petal dance in my palm before it floats away on a silent breeze.

Yes, the world is that stage, and we execute, mimic, and pantomime the endless processes of life and living upon it.  Laughing, loving…dying…

Dying.  I shudder.

Why do I yet value my life?  All things are fleeting; we’re nothing but some poor cherry blossoms caught in endless gusts of wind that toss us unmercifully about before crashing us at last upon the ground, to dance no longer.  Would we not rather wish to not have bloomed at all?  We live only to wither, fall, and die.  What is there to gain?

No, that is not right.  The stage does not control the actor upon it.  Fate does not move us indiscriminately when we do not allow it.  Our lives would better be likened to some sort of grand monologue.  On chance to orate, one chance to perform, to influence hearts and minds, to learn and grow as the speech is given.

Still, what a magnificent chance it is!

I knew my place before I stepped up to the podium.  A sacrifice on the altar of power, power that will be needed in the future to combat great evil.  A sacrifice also on the altar of sisterly devotion.  I can hope, at least. 

My life never should have been more than that cherry blossom.  Blooming beautifully but gone before it will ever be fully appreciated.  Yet, never, never say that I did not choose to fall.

Oh, no. 

This is, and always has been, for you, Subaru, dearest brother.  Your monologue must continue even though you might wish to end it now.  Its skillful turn of phrase has only just begun, and there is so much more left for you to share.  Is it delusion for me to hope that you will not have to stand solo on that frightening stage?

No matter.  I follow my heart and my wish.  Shall it be another duet, Sei-chan?

Subaru, I love you so much, and I’m ready to take my final bow as my cherry blossom monologue ends.

 

END


End file.
